How much crap?

I'm nearly done moving my stuff out of my flat, and it's struck me that there's SO much total crap that I've bought over the years. An amazing amount of seriously shite t-shirts, books, clothes, games, toys and paperwork. But being the true geek, made up an algorithm in my head based on the frequency of use, the age of the object and the potential future usefulness in order to find out what to throw away.

This made it easy for items such as the "Party Like Pacman" tshirt below - never worn, pretty old, never going to wear it in my life time. Answer - charity shop to start some 12 yr old on their new potential lifestyle.



But what about the shocking tanks? Very cool, used pretty often, a bugger to try and convince customs that they're only a weapon when in the wrong hands, and the likelihood of using them in the future in the snow (with all it's conductive properties) relatively slim. Answer - sod it, give them to one of the kids next door after singing the little beggar's fingers in a demonstration.

All in all, it's going pretty well though. Threw out a load of suits - very therapeutic and not just a little symbolic - as well as turfing out old programming manuals for recycling and organising the paperwork accordingly (it's been filed carefully in date order in the bin). Successful day, just need to get enough contact lenses to last for several months then we're rocking.

Timescales are:
Fly to NZ on Saturday morning.
Fly around the southern hemisphere a bit.
Fly back from Singapore (leaving some members of the party there who haven't quite finished drinking) 17th January.
Fly out to Geneva Friday 19th January and head to Chamonix.
Bliss.

To all the ex-workmates who are reading this. Thanks very much. It was a hugely positive experience working with all of you. Special note to Andy who I still believe is the best problem solver I've ever come across and acted with such dignity when things were't quite so peachy. Also thanks to Kuntesh, Badjon, Duff, Chris, Bobby, Swaps, Jonny, JQ, iPatch and all the others who still make me smile thinking about them. Take it easy y'all. See you in the next life =)

Done and dusted

Last day today. Going out with a few of the boys for lunch - going to miss lots of them but my mind's already on going to New Zealand for a month and then onwards to Chamonix. Already I can feel the air of the mountains in my mind and the smell of the snow in my nostrils - weirdly I've also started speaking french in my dreams and have begun developing a taste for smelly cheese. The body seems to be readying itself for the culture change. When I stop shaving my funzone and start wearing speedos to the swimming pool, I'll know that the metamorphosis is complete.

It was great to say a blanket goodbye to everyone on Friday and seal my time in London on a positive note. It reinforces the belief that fate is aiding this move to France - everything just fits perfectly and at the end of the evening at the museum when it was time to go, it seemed right to just walk out of the main entrance with no fuss and just a genuine, happy, satisfied smile.

There's one more thing I have to do before I go. A while ago my ex lent me a book, the Celestine Prophect, which I promptly managed to lose. The book means a huge amount to her and I feel bad about misplacing it so I'm going to find it online and get a copy sent to her. It's personal to her and we shared a lot of personal moments - it's not fair to take any of those away from her without her permission.

PS
I know I said I'd post up a date re-conversion function the other day, I'm going to try to do that today.

Dreamy love

Have been laid up in bed ill yesterday and today. Got man flu. Hence have been living off lucozade and dvd's - notably crappy romantic comedies. My lovely housemate procured some of the most meaningless film to gush forth from the window of knowledge and rather worryingly have enjoyed much of it. In fact, there's a few tips and tricks left in there to the wooers and wooees - limited notes below.

Observations of successful courting strategies:

Knock the person you are courting clean out.
Saw this in Hitch amongst others, it appears to be a favoured strategy generally. In fact causing some sort of physical distress seems to be a really good idea as the target will inevitably forgive and forget. I'd guess that this could be a precursor to domestic violence at some stage in the future but all the other tell-tale signs seem to get swept under the carpet. On the plus side tho, I do like sporty, adventurous girls and so counting the recovery time may well certainly lend itself to helping "weed out the minnows" when looking for Mrs Narg.

Sleep with someone else when drunk/vulnerable/drunk & vulnerable.
A little more emotionally charged than the physical aspect of above. Plus the sex is inevitably never as good with the third party. They are always cast aside at a later stage for the main characters to reunite, but it would certainly make it a more difficult decision for the hero/heroine to go back to their main partner if the third party had introduced a bucket of soapy frogs into a lively bedroom encounter. There's a lingering feeling that the potential Mrs Narg might be put off by the combination of Imperial Leather and amphibians however so this one's going to be put on the "maybe" pile.

Don't buy flowers/chocolates.
It's gonna take waaay more than that apparently. Save your money. The guy with the private jet inevitably has a girl at some point - that should speak volumes for the value of money. I'm hoping that Mrs Narg will prefer flowers over jets - preferably a wild flower on the heather highlands in the middle of Scotland to an EasyJet flight to Magaluf at least.

Be really attractive.
No seriously it helps a lot. Boy next door look seems to work very well. The investment banker in a suit is almost always the bad guy (so why do virtually all girls like men in suits?) whereas the guy in the jeans and shirt ultimately always gets the girl (and later sponsorship from Gap). However an underlying sense of style and buckets of confidence also feature into this quite heavily. There's 30% off at Gap at the moment, so Mrs Narg will be happy. Might even have a shave on our wedding day to really smarten up.


I guess that despite all the jokes and whatnot mentioned above - the only thing you can do is open up enough to someone else for them to love you for who you are. It's happened once before to me and it was all I could do to stop standing on top of everything and shouting it across the land. The most exciting, adventurous, happy, sharing, adrenaline filled, emotional trip ever. Once she fell in love with the mountains and snowboarding too, it was like the air had been filled with crystals everywhere you looked.

The unequivocal love of the mountains is one of the reasons for going to the France. Decisions become easier with less clutter and distraction (ie London), and life is much more pure both spiritually and physically. The interim stalling period to get out there is almost unbearable - waiting to be able to get stuck into programming at the foot of the Aiguille du Midi in the high clean air after a few hours riding the mountain in the early morning each day. This love for the mountains is unconditional, much like the love of the past. The chance to programme, to ride, to enjoy the mountains and to have a fulfilling life is too much to walk away from. I guess if I meet Mrs Narg out there, then the chance to follow my dream and have it merge with someone elses. Well that would just be too cool.

Come together

It always appeared that totally changing one's life was going to be one of the hardest things to do. There would be the enormous doubt, the fear of the unknown, the constant questioning of the choice, the nerves about the imminent financial state, the worry of the excessive chafing of the leotard to the nether regions in the new job, etc. However it's been amazingly simple. It helps enormously to have supportive friends and family to allay those doubts, and to each and every one who has helped - thankyou. However not many of these negative values have really surfaced, probably due to the real morale boosting and positive mindset of these influencial people.

For anyone who's thinking about chucking it all in and going to fulfil a lifelong dream - don't delay - get stuck into changing your life. It's the most euphoric feeling. Every emotion runs through your body sending pins and needles of pleasure and happiness through every finger and toe in your body. Every muscle and memory seems to gear towards solidifying the past encouraging you to settle any personal differences - the feeling that this may be the last time to be able to say protracted goodbyes to those who have helped shape your life, the ability to see through any past indiscretions to come together and truly accept who you are. It's the most incredible therapeutic, cathartic feeling. Of course you want all of the goodbyes to seal in the story of the journey so far, but they must be fully sealed without leaving any gaps to lose anything through.

Life's a totally personal experience, no one can ever tell you how you feel or force you to think in a certain way, but everyone has influence over others in their close circle of friends. To be able to clean the dust away from the relationships with your friends and admire them for who they are is wonderful. To be able to hold someone with the greatest respect after knowing them for many years having seen the decisions they have made and the way they have handled themselves when the going got tough - that's a personal quality that I will always admire in those around me, and constantly aspire to.



So take a look at your friends - repeat in your mind why you like to talk to them, why you enjoy spending time with them, why they make you laugh, why they make you think, what you'd miss if they went from your life, but most of all why you respect them. Then sit down and tell them one thing that you thought of. Everyone needs a morale boost sometimes, and if that boost comes from a close friend they might just buy you a drink and argue about whether Roadrunner was better than Tom and Jerry.

The Changingman

Written Friday 24th November

Decided to head home to the country to see my folks and take part in the Lytham Yacht Club annual dinner. It's a pretty traditional affair - dinner jackets, speeches, port and the like. It's pretty crusty too. Junior members are those under 30 and the president of the club is in his 90's. As I said - traditional! The funny thing is not one of the (all-male) members actually owns a boat/yacht/ship - it's purely social.

Another reason for coming up to the dinner is to take a break from the big smoke. I've been in London for a several years now, working for a capital management company and then for a financial betting company. A radical change in life is due. So yesterday the formal resignation went in and it became time to start shaping the future of the boy Narg.

Today I find myself on a Virgin train piling through central England heading from Euston to Preston listening to Nina Simone's greatest hits flowing through the headphones from my iPod with the same subtle, blended, sinuous feel of looking out of the window watching the scenery roll past. It truly does feel like the beginning of an adventure - one that potentially could shape life for many years to come.

I've decided to move out to Chamonix - the town that sits in the valley at the bottom of Mont Blanc in France. It's a mecca for skiiers and snowboarders due to the high, steep peaks, as well as being one of the best places in Europe to go climbing for the same reason. Timings look like to move out there mid-January after spending a month in New Zealand over christmas and new year. The more cynical out there will think this is purely a ruse to go out and play in the snow for a few months, but in fact it's going to provide the oppertunity to finish writing a piece of software that's been rolling around my mind for some time now. Also there's a particularly talented friend out there who runs the Chamonix valley website - chamonix-valley.com - and we've talked a bit working on a few bits on that together in a trade for using his offices to work from.

There's a heightened sense of freedom and happiness now that's not been felt for far too long. It's too easy to get bogged down in monotony and the negative aspect of life and that's debilitating. There's too much oppertunity to make your life wholely fulfilling and happy out there. The big adventure of life is an exciting miracle of a challenge and I've always felt that if you feel like life is passing by and you aren't living to the apex of the fun, happiness, joy and peace you can have then it's time for a change. Life is beautiful - even the chapters that are difficult or you don't like provide the lows for the highs to be high. Once again, it's been easy to wake up in the morning and jump up and down on the bed with excitement about what the day will bring, the utter joy of knowing that this one day is unique and there will never be the chance to live it again. That for me is the most special feeling, to share that with someone else - especially your partner and children - has to be the great gift of life.

There is an element of sadness leaving work - there is a plethora of amazing, incredible people there. Especially one guy who stuck up for me when times were hard and I just hope one day that he'll see the loyalty and honesty he showed me was reciprocated at every oppertunity that arose - he deserved it and much more. For that and his ability to teach and share knowledge selflessly, I thank him. I wish him and the other guys all the very best. Before leaving it also feels fully right to make peace with the very few people who there was any sort of friction with. It just feels correct in order to look back at this chapter in life with a whole heart full of happiness at having those people around as influential characters.

So the main plan of action now is to move to Chamonix and:

1) Write an exciting, challenging, clever, sellable piece of software (then sell it!).

2) Settle into doing two things that I love unconditionally - programming and snowboarding.

3) Fall in love again. OK now this isn't quite so urgent, but it's definately part of the main life plan thingy so it's included here.

Related links:
Chamonix valley website
Listingslab blog